so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
