Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
