That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
