How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
