I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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