there was a trapeze. enough said
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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