It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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