I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
