The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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