don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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