glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
