i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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