You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
