I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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