I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
