I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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