I wish I could teleport
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
