Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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