It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
