Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize