Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
