i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
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I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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