it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize