To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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