He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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