She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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