garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
