They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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