Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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