Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
