I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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