I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
