You're so nebulous sometimes
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
