Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
