I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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