love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
