Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
