dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize