i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
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I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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