IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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