Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
