Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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