I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
