What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
