3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
