I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
