with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
