its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
