They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
