ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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