I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
