How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it was like eating out sand paper
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
