you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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