On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
