Where is the hickey?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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