if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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