Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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