I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
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I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize