Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
