yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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