is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
