i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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