I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
